Exclusive Unpublished Barking Baby Archives: Sweet

From back in January when SS was a wee little five-month-old...

I feel like it's always when I'm around J's mom and sister, the Expert Moms, that I do some spazzy-mommy thing, like last week when I picked up SS's carseat and the whole living room collectively gasped as SS's seat tipped to a perilous angle, because I hadn't realized that the car seat handle wasn't all the way up. Of course SS was safely buckled and strapped in, which kept the carseat from becoming a baby Slip-and-Slide, but still, it looked crazy-spazzy.  

And obviously no one but J and I are around when I do a rock star ninja-mom move like catch SS midair as he pops himself off my lap like a jumping spider when we're sitting at the dining room table. My awesome-mom moments are frustratingly private, while my spazzy-mom moments seem to be witness-induced. Especially if those witnesses are Varsity Moms. 

On Martin Luther King Jr Day J's whole family went to a magic/comedy show by Justin Williams at the Gaslight Theater - J told me I was a very good audience member because I spent the whole night exclaiming "Hooow did he do that?!" At Gaslight, you can order food to eat during the show, so J, BB, and I shared a massive brownie hot fudge sundae (you know, because I'm still trying to lose that baby weight) while I cradled SS. After a little while we played pass-the-baby and eventually Auntie Seen ended up cuddling him to sleep. When the show ended, the lights came back up in the audience, and Auntie Seen was suddenly anxious.

"Oh my gosh, look! Something's in SS's ear - is that blood?"

Of course we all swarmed around the sleeping baby.

"It looks like dried blood! Why would his ear be bleeding?"

"Did his eardrum burst?"

"And what is that little thing in his ear? Is that a bug?"

"It's.....is it...green?...What is that?"

"Wait.....is that...?"

I closely inspected the tiny green-and-brown object resting in my son's ear. And suddenly the context our evening dawned on me.

"It's a sprinkle."

I sniffed SS's ear.

"And that's chocolate sauce.

I was holding him on my lap while I ate my sundae, and chocolate sauce must have dripped into his ear when I took a bite. "

Crisis averted. 

Peals of laughter. 

Spazzy mom strikes again! What kind of glutton slobbers dessert all over her sleeping baby and doesn't realize it? Into her baby's ear?!?

The embarrassment continues...