Moo

Mooooo.

These are the cries of a dairy cow:

I think my milk supply is starting to decline. I definitely did not pump as much milk as SS drank this week while I worked. I worked a 14 1/2 hour stressful, busy day and was unable to pump at my normal time the last time. And the high stress level and lack of proper hydration (due to lack of time for self-care) doesn't help my milk supply. Ideally, the solution to my (possibly) declining milk supply would be to pump every day when I'm not at work at a time SS doesn't need to eat in order to store up some extra milk (which I do try to do a couple of times a week before I go to bed). However, in reality, adding in a pumping session between feedings (which are still about every 3 hours) alongside getting two kids dressed and fed and diapered and fed and diapered and napped and fed and diapered every day just doesn't happen. So that means we may be starting to supplement with some formula soon if it seems like SS needs it. This is hard for me to accept. I wish I could be one of those moms that takes a "nursing vacation" and just leisurely lays in bed with her baby for a couple days and nurses constantly in order to catalyze my milk production - in my fantasy of this nursing vacation, someone brings me meals in bed and cleans up the kitchen and I am wearing a light white cotton nightdress with lace details and SS is just in his white cloth diaper and SS and I lounge in my white sheets and nurse and smile at each other all day and SS never spits up and everything is light and bright and sweet and earthy. But I have a two-and-a-half-year-old who needs his mama too, and that mysterious person who brings me meals and cleans and launders hasn't turned up on my doorstep yet, so no nursing vacation for me.

So if needed, I will continue to breastfeed and only supplement with formula. Needing formula makes me feel a little like I failed at breastfeeding and mothering and being a natural mama. I totally realize this is silly and not true, but these feelings still exist. Because this is a little disheartening, I started thinking of some positive effects of SS no longer being exclusively breastfed:

- I can drink an occasional cup of coffee and have the occasional Starbucks treat! I drank one full cup of coffee since SS was born, and he was horribly fussy and didn't take a solid nap all day that day. Since I don't have caffeine regularly (not even soda or tea) I am pretty sensitive to it, and poor SS seems to have the same sensitivity. Totally not worth the stress it caused. Baby or Mama.

-I can have the occasional un-perfectly-timed glass of wine or cocktail and not worry about how "pumping-and-dumping" will affect my milk supply and stock.

-I can be untethered from my baby for more than a couple of hours. I mean, let's be honest, who wouldn't want to be tethered to this cute little man?:

It's definitely no hardship. I love that our nature requires our togetherness. But it will be nice to have the option of a little freedom - I can leave him and not have to stress over when exactly I will need to pump to coordinate with his feedings and if SS will have enough milk the following feeding if I pump too late, etc. Right now I would rather just keep him with me and nurse him directly because the repercussions of our separation on breastfeeding stress me out.

-I can stop worrying about how my exercise is affecting my milk supply. I am still playing soccer (TRUE LOVE) and I'm hoping to train for a half-marathon, but am unsure of how this will affect my milk supply.

-It seems like pumping at work will be less stressful because I won't be obsessively counting and calculating every single ounce that SS drinks and I pump while I am gone

Of course, none of this is worth more to me than the perfect nutrition and sweet bond that breastfeeding provides SS - when faced with a choice between any of those options and breastfeeding, I will pick breastfeeding every time. I am just trying to look at the bright side of what might be our new reality.

Moo.

My Valentines

It was a happy day with my sweet Valentines.

BB was given a card with a lollipop as we left the gym nursery.

"BB, it's a Vaaaaalentine for youuu!" I cooed.

BB promptly pulled off the lollipop and threw the card on the ground, right in front of the woman who handed it to him. I think he thought it was a wrapper. Despite my urging to pick up his Valentine, he held up the lollipop and happily left the nursery.

This isn't Valentine-related, but last week I walked in the living room where I had left SS lounging on his playmat. After getting BB set up with lunch, I walked back out to the living room, and SS was.......gone? Where was he?

I walked a little further into the room and realized the SS had rolled himself right under the couch. :)

In the last week BB started calling SS "Boo Boo Bear" just like I do, only it sounds like "Boo Boo Bayw". His Granacky said she heard BB comforting a fussy SS when she was in the other room, "It's okay Boo Boo Bayw".

"Diamond-tines day?"

If we can keep that up, it will be a lucky, lucky girl who marries BB.


We made Valentine's for a Lovey Party - I looked up heart-shaped animals so that we could make boy paper valentines.

BB picked all the colors and who he wanted to have which animals for the Valentines and colored them and helped stick them all together - those are snakes, a shark, a fish, a sheep, a racoon, and an owl. I love this creative, boyish spin on paper Valentines, but not as much as I loved an afternoon of crafting with one of my Valentines. He's mine.

SS's First Food

Monday night we fed SS his first food, homemade brown rice cereal. At first he seemed to like it, as you can see in our video:


(Also, in the video you can hear BB's concern that the food is too hot - BB doesn't like food hot or even warm. A few weeks ago I asked him if he wanted a grilled peanut butter and jelly and I told him it would be yummy and warm, and he said "Not hot. Not warm. Cold." He's such a nutter. A very specific nutter.)

But then after a few minutes SS decided he was not impressed with this strange new texture and unfamiliar taste.



And then we added some banana to it, I thought the sweetness would make him like it more, but he reacted worse to the banana rice cereal than to the plain rice cereal!

Last night we fed SS peas mixed with the rice cereal, and the peas were a hit - he would open his mouth almost-eagerly for the spoonful of watery-greenish-ricemush. BB also wanted a bite, and said "Mmmmmm" in an exaggerated 2-syllables. After shunning the delicious corn and cheese chowder I had made for his actual dinner, of course. Green mush, Mmmmmmm. Peas were BB's favorite in the beginning too.

And sidenote: making your own rice cereal? Ridiculously easy and quick. It really is just rice ground up really finely in the blender or food processor (I use our truly magical Magic Bullet). I made most of BB's baby food too (this is when I learned about the Magic Bullet's magicality), but I never really researched it since it seemed pretty simple - steam/bake/smash whatever food I wanted to feed him and, depending on the consistency I was going for, put it in the Magic Bullet, add water, bulletize (I just made that up when I was trying to decide between typing "blend" or "process"), and voila, baby food. But I bought BB's rice cereal, since that seemed complicated and mysterious. Well, I skimmed through most of Super Baby Food on our way up to Phoenix to visit friends last weekend and I learned that rice cereal really is just rice ground into a fine powder (I thought for sure there was more to it than that - no mystery after all) and that as far as other food was concerned, my original technique was spot-on.

***Sorry for the grainy photos, our camera ran out of batteries and we used our old one - such a huge difference in photo quality!!

Ridiculously Overdue Recap: A Crafty Thanksgiving Completed

So waaaaaay back in November, I told you all about some Thanksgiving crafts we did with BB and my nieces B and K - you can revisit them here and here.

Well, on Thanksgiving the kids used their crafts to tell the Thanksgiving story to the adults during dinner. It was such a sweet presentation - B really took the lead and guided K and BB through the storytelling, and the adults all laughed and enjoyed the show (and the abundance of cuteness).

Pilgrim hats and mayflower pictures


The littlest pilgrim


Native Americans making their special entrance




Showing off their "fish"

I love this next series of photos - take a look at SS







Our family on Thanksgiving


Eating Thanksgiving dinner


SS wearing the turkey shirt that I made for BB's first Thanksgiving

Okay, one Ridiculously Overdue Recap post down, "thankfully"!

6 Months Old

At 6 months, everywhere we go, everywhere, people comment on SS's big, blue eyes.

Everything goes in his mouth. SS can pull his pacifier out of his mouth and then put it back in. And he just started grabbing his feet.

SS rolls from tummy to back and back to tummy and ends up in a completely different spot than we left him, but he hasn't quite realized that he can transport himself to places and things that he wants yet. Although I hesitate to say that, because the other possibility is that he just doesn't want anything that badly yet - he really is a content little baby. Perhaps if there was some kind of machine that doled out kisses and cuddles, he would be more motivated to move himself, because he does love kisses, like breaks-into-big-smiles-when-you-kiss-his-cheek loves kisses, but as is, he is happy to lay on the floor and grab his feet and roll around just for fun.

SS is getting loud. He makes loooooong loud sounds when he is heading towards sleepy, not unhappy sounds, he's just chatty. It's hilarious. One night at dinner J said that SS was being loudly talky, and BB laughed - when BB stopped laughing, SS made the same noise, and BB laughed again, so SS made the same noise and BB laughed and J told me and we thought Oh no! We have two of them! Because BB loves to get a laugh too and will repeat himself to keep us laughing. I had assumed that SS and BB would be very different in personality, but this is something that makes me think they actually might be a lot alike.

Though one definite difference between BB and SS is that SS will smile at anyone who smiles at him - he is such a smiley baby, while BB made you work a little more for a smile. BB would take his time to observe people before he warmed up to them, but SS just grins right back.

SS remains a cuddler. His whole face just lights up in response to physical attention.

SS is still a comfort sucker - he loves his pacifier and falls asleep with it. He went through a stage where falling asleep for the night was a good hour-long saga of drifting off, pacifier falling out, baby freaking out, pacifier reinserted by mama or daddy, repeat, repeat, repeat, until J and I figured out he hates the dark. Even the nightlight was not enough for him. (He also cries at night when we are in the car because it's dark.) So now we turn on a soft lamp and he falls asleep much more easily. And we also remembered that BB had a little crib attachment that played music and lit up (like this) - it had broken in storage, so we had tossed it and forgotten about it. So we went to a resale shop and got SS one for $10 (LOVE resale!), and he is falling asleep easily again.

I feel like SS is right on the edge of so many developmental changes - soon he will be sitting up, babbling real sounds, teething, and tonight we are going to feed him his first ever solid food. But right now he's still just my tiny baby, all mama-milk fed (which I am very proud of because with BB we had to supplement with formula starting around 4 1/2 months). He's still soft and cuddly when you pick him up, not muscular yet.

Today at the doctor, he measured

27 inches long - 75th percentile

13 lbs 8 ounces - 2nd percentile

Yes, he is down to the 2nd percentile for weight. I laughed a little, because BB did the exact same thing and now he's really big for his age (everyone thinks he's already 3), but of course part of me worries a little too. He only gained 1/2 pound in 2 months, but he grew 2 inches longer. Our pediatrician said that he'd rather see this than the other way (overweight) and didn't seem concerned. I told him how many ounces I think SS drinks a day (based on how much I pump/he eats on days that I work) and Dr. Bean said that's the right amount for his size. Plus, SS is happy, plays, naps well and even has some chunk on his thighs - he is a healthy boy, it's just genetics. I reminded myself that today he wore his first 12-month outfit, because the length is perfect for him. He's a noodle, just like his brother and daddy were. I always say that my babies look different than other babies because they have necks, and when I told J's mom she said "Awww, that's how J was when he was a baby, he was my little turtle guy".

So that's SS at 6 months old! I am so excited to feed him his first bites of food tonight!

Happy 6 months Boo Boo Bear!

Reindeer Games

This is NOT a Ridiculously Overdue Recap (ROR) post, this is actually current news -

For Christmas, SS got a small stuffed reindeer toy from his Aunt Shawna.

We opened it and SS saw it, smiled at it, grasped it between his two inexperienced hands and fumbled it towards his mouth while leaning forward, eager to make the two connect. Everything goes in the mouth. SS gummed the reindeer's face while we all joyfully watched and declared that he was giving the reindeer kisses.

SS seemed to especially like his stuffed reindeer - it's one of the first toys he has really connected with, and so we started taking it with us everywhere so SS always had his little friend to smile at. A couple of weeks after Christmas I took the boys on a walk around the neighborhood to the park - I put both boys in the double stroller and packed up snacks and a blanket and I stuck SS's reindeer in the seat with SS to play with in the grass. In an effort to turn the walk into some real exercise, I decided to power-walk every street in the neighborhood on the way to the park. BB played for a while and then I power-walked every street on the way home too. A full 30 minutes of exercise + playground time for BB + fresh air and sunshine = successful day!

I had to work the next day, and the day after was a Thursday - I remember thinking "SS's reindeer isn't in his crib, where is it?" but figuring it must be downstairs. On Friday when I put SS in his crib for his nap I realized I still hadn't seen his reindeer, so I started looking for it. I asked BB if he had seen SS's reindeer and he said "Yeah, upstairs!" I said "Where?" And he said "Upstairs!" again. I said "Show me!" and he jumped up with me excitedly following him - he brought me over to the staircase and pointed up the steps, like I was asking him where upstairs is. Cute. He wound up taking me to SS's crib, where of course I already knew it wasn't. After I really looked everywhere and couldn't find it, I decided it must in the car, but J had taken our "kid car" to work that day so I couldn't look yet. Once J got home, I sent him out to the garage to find the reindeer, sure that he would bring it inside, but J came back in empty-handed. Suddenly I was panicked. The last time I remembered having the reindeer for sure was when we took it to the park 3 days before, so I jumped in the car and drove down to the park, and then drove around the neighborhood searching for it in the dark, shining my headlights onto the sidewalks along each road, since I had, of course, power-walked every. single. street. Oh cruel irony. This was all to no avail - SS's reindeer was lost. Really lost. Possibly never to be found lost.

I was so sad, sadder than the practical side of me thought I really should be. I mournfully woed to J about how it was the first toy SS really connected to and I carelessly lost it and what kind of mommy am I? We only had it for two weeks!

I prayed and prayed that we would find our reindeer, and in hopes we could at least buy SS a replacement, J and I started combing through the baby section of Target, and then after 3 Targets we checked Ebay and the Carter's website, all while hoping the reindeer would turn up in some random location. But he didn't. We broke the news to J's family and joked about putting up "Missing" posters around the neighborhood.

A couple more days passed and I just couldn't let it go. I realized that if the reindeer had indeed fallen out of the stroller on our walk and someone had found it, they had nothing to work with, no way to return SS's beloved reindeer. And once again, the thought about Missing posters came to me, and I just couldn't shake the idea. So even though it seemed silly, I knew I had to do it, to feel like I had made every effort. I had to actually make and post little Missing posters around the neighborhood. At first I was going to print out pictures of SS with the reindeer to put on the posters, and then I realized that I needed to just get this done right then otherwise it was never going to happen, so even though it was BB's nap time and I was breastfeeding, I grabbed some markers and drew a picture of the reindeer for the posters. Then I threw the kids in the double stroller and we briskly walked around the neighborhood, taping up the fliers. I felt both silly and accomplished when we got home and I put the boys down for a nap. But I was finally at peace with my reindeer-recovery efforts.

A few hours later I was cleaning the house and my phone rang - it was a strange number and I was in the throes of frantically-cleaning-house-while-the-kids-nap so I didn't answer. But the mystery number left a voice mail, so I curiously checked it - I had completely forgotten about the posters. A huge smile stretched across my face as a woman said "Hi, I'm B, and I found your reindeer!" I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. THE POSTERS WORKED! Some snippets from B and I's conversation include "I have a 15-month-old, so I totally understand," and "My husband thought it was a school doing an experiment to see if someone would call" (apparently my artistic talents measure up to an elementary school level). I was totally spazzy on the phone, saying weirdish things half-explaining the story, because I was so elated. I know I sounded like an overly-caffeinated weirdo. (I jabber when I'm excited or nervous.) Later that evening, our reindeer was home, and we reunited SS with his special toy.

B and I ended up chatting about mommy stuff at our front door for a good 10-15 minutes (by then I had brought my excitement down a few notches to a level appropriate for a stranger (after squealing with various family members and making a big facebook proclamation)). And then B and I ended up running into each other at a different park the next day. So maybe I will even make a new friend out of our reindeer caper. When I ran into B, I remembered to ask her where she actually found the reindeer, since I had forgotten to ask that in my spastic, overly excited state. She said that she had seen the reindeer for a few days in a neighbor's yard, so when she saw the poster, she went and grabbed it out of their yard and called us. She is our Good Samaritan.

This is SS's thank you:

Ridiculously Overdue Recap Alert

Between the holidays and New Year’s resolutions and a toddler trying to give up his nap and a cuddly baby filling my heart with every open-mouth grin, I’ve been so busy living life that I haven’t been blogging about life. So I’m going to try to catch up and post some Ridiculously Overdue Recaps alongside some current event posts.

I, like zillions of others, am attempting to use the new year to make some positive changes, including applying some structure of J and my’s daily schedule, as any semblance of structure that was previously there was destroyed by the survival-mode I go into over the holidays. I really want to get up before the kids, so that I can have time to read the Bible and set my heart right with God, get showered and dressed for the day, and run on some days – because J is also going to be working out bright and early before he heads into work, I will need to run even brighter and earlier, and if I do that, it means I will have some time I can set aside for blogging on those mornings before the kids are up, which excites me. Of course, this is all in an ideal world where I can actually get up when my alarm goes off, which I have yet to do since we set our new “family schedule”. I always think “If I could just not sleep, imagine how much I could get done!” but alas, sleep is essential to sanity. So we’ll see what happens – I might just be putting the kids into the gym childcare until it’s warm enough to run at the foreign hour I have designated to do so on the family schedule. That's actually what I tried out today - I used a guest pass to try the YMCA, as their childcare setting is more desirable than my current gym's (the workers are background checked, fingerprinted, CPR certified, etc.). All that to say, I MISS BLOGGING - it's my virtual family scrapbook, and I want/need to make time for it.

Anyway, some Ridiculously Overdue Recap posts to look forward to? A Crafty Thanksgiving, Completed (yes, I'm that behind), SS's dedication, Christmas, a random photo dump (doesn't that sound gross? What's a better way to say it? ) etc. - many of these are half-written drafts (the photo dump draft is titled December Dump, but that sounds so wrong), SO without further adieu, I'm going to try to actually write and complete an entire post!