New York City: an Other Mommy Tale

J and I got to take a vacation. Just the two of us. To New York City.

Yes, it was totally amazing.

With a free place to stay with one of our favorite friends from college and an iconic city to explore, how could it not be, right? Unrestricted by nap times and bed times and unencumbered by diaper bags and strollers, we felt liberated (albeit a little lonely for our little man). Waiting for our plane in the Tucson airport, we realized, Hey! We're not responsible for anyone but ourselves! This feels SO WEIRD!!

GG came to Tucson and stayed with BB while J and I took a bite out of the Big Apple - it was such a blessing knowing that BB was loved and safe (and probably a little spoiled) while we embarked on the trip of a lifetime.

The trip of a lifetime.

I keep using that phrase to describe our trip, and what I mean by that is that I will never forget this trip, ever. I will never forget the freedom, the exploration, the excitement, and the culture J and I experienced in those five days. Our time together in New York City will go down as a Personal Record in the statistics of our marriage, a goal in the World Cup of our relationship, a bestseller in the volume-filled library of our life together.

And now, an exhaustive photographic tour of New York City, as seen by J & K:

Listening to Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z on the plane as we got ready to land at JFK

My first subway stop EVER!
(J had been to NYC once a couple of years ago for less than 24 hours - he had a work conference in Rhode Island and took the train to see our friends.) We are in love with public transportation. We felt so much more connected to the city than if we had been in a car.

Thanks to a 3-hour time difference and no built-in tiny-human-alarm clock, J and I slept until 12:40 pm the first day - AUGH! We awoke panicked that we were sleeping away our vacation, but at least we were well-rested.

Street hot dogs in Times Square - Thanks to a recommendation from a friend (who helped me plan our trip) we weren't afraid to try them. (Yes, I'm eating a hot dog. No, this is not a normal occurrence. But I figured it's a New York thing - when in Rome, right? Also, I was really hungry.)

The Times Square shot. For those of you who are wondering (like I was), Times Square is basically just a big commercial.

But in this moment, it's an encouraging commercial. Great Times Are Waiting, Times Square.

Here we are sitting on the double-decker bus tour - the bus tour had both tourist and resident stamps-of-approval, so we knew we wanted to do it. Our favorite thing we learned about the city was that the same family has been building wooden rooftop water tanks for buildings all over New York for over a century.

Empire State Building, as seen from a double-decker tour bus

The Flatiron building - J really liked this building

My first sighting of the Dean & Deluca that the D&D in Felicity is modeled after - J sweetly researched this ahead of time for me. Now's probably a good time to tell you that Felicity was a big part of my NYC trip. I'm actually surprised it took this long to come up.

We got off the bus to eat some "linner" in Little Italy, since thanks to grossly oversleeping and our Broadway tickets for that evening, we had to budget our time and couldn't take advantage of the hop-on-hop-off feature of the bus tour. The streets are literally lined with restaurants, and we actually just let a waiter corral us to his reasonably-priced table. We found our way home with Andy's handy-dandy pop-up map (seriously, the coolest map book ever) and with Laura's crash-course in New York geography floating around in my head.


Outside the theater later that evening

We saw Promises, Promises, starring Sean Hayes and Kristen Chenowith, who is so talented. This show also co-starred Katie Finneran, who won a well-deserved Tony for her hilarious role in this show.


Times Square around 11 pm


We then ventured on to legendary Junior's Cheesecake, what all cheesecake aspires to be, where we ate a slice of raspberry swirl cheesecake that will forever leave us disappointed in all future cheesecake.


And then we went to Rockefeller Center.

We wanted to try to go to Top of the Rock to see the skyline, but we got there at 11:50 and it closed at midnight. We never did make it up there, so Top of the Rock is at the top of the list for next trip.

DAY TWO:

At "our" (Andy's) subway stop
(Many thanks to Laura for modeling scarf fashion that I could steal)


Just casually waiting for our train, completely oblivious to the photography
(P.S. Every time a train went by and my hair blew back, I felt like Felicity at the Bleeker Street stop)


Mmm, bagels. I had apple cream cheese - amazing. We ate on the subway. Because we could because no one had to drive. Because we're pretty much New Yorkers at this point. We are so much New Yorkers that we even got a bagel with lox, in the spirit of "When in Rome" - I think I read about lox in Babysitters Club. Stacey was from New York, after all. The lox was mostly gross after my sweet apple cream cheese, but if you like savory cream cheese maybe it could be good.



St. Paul's Chapel, est. 1776 - across the street from the World Trade Center, which is currently under construction.
I remember this iron gate where people hung memorials to their loved ones from photos of September 11th coverage. The headstones in the church cemetery were hundreds of years old.



At a memorial area that displayed a model of the future World Trade Center site. Very moving - there were videos playing with people sharing their memories from September 11th, 2001 and family members talking about their loved ones and heroes.


We took the (free!) Staten Island Ferry to see Lady Liberty


Then we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge


and ate iconic New York Grimaldi's Pizza


Then we walked back across the Brooklyn Bridge, but this time at night, and went to an improv comedy show with Andy (our host, who's the greatest). Suffice it to say that our tourist-cards were thoroughly punched at this point.

DAY THREE:

Meet JM and Sarah, dear friends from college. They live in this amazing apartment on the Upper West Side. As in, across the street from the Natural History Museum. As in, you can see Central Park from their rooftop deck. Yes, I just said rooftop deck. Where the view looks like this:


They are living our fantasy New York City life.
But we got to live it with them for a day. We joined them at their church, where I actually thought, I could see myself liking this church like I like my church, which is a tall order to fill. But the amazing worship music and challenging, authentic message were undeniably great. Then we walked through Central Park to have brunch at Isabella's, where we ate Filet Mignon Eggs Benedict. It doesn't get fancier than that people. The meal even came with an included mimosa, coffee, or orange juice. Fancy.
After we toured their apartment, the men put on their matching jaunty caps

and we went for a stroll through Central Park.


The bridge from Keeping the Faith where Edward Norton says,
"You know, I think whoever said it, it was really true. The true New Yorkers understand that people living anywhere else must be, in some sense, kidding."


J and I had gotten used to Andy's thoughtful, informative answers to all of our New York questions. JM was a different kind of tour guide (but equally lovable). "I think Strawberry Fields are over there somewhere..." "What's that?" "I don't know." "Where's the Alice and Wonderland statue?" "I don't know - is there one?" I was dying laughing by the end of it.
Later the men watched football while Sarah took me shopping (WOO!) and then we got to meet and get to know their friends for dinner at Calle Ocho (Latin American food with a sangria bar) and dessert at Shake Shack.

DAY FOUR:
Okay, back to Felicity.

Breakfast at Dean & Deluca. This was probably my favorite day of the whole trip. And not just because I'm wearing my new favorite dress (purchased the day before). J and I plotted this whole day, figuring out what was close to what, found our way around (I LOVED that!) and did a bunch of things we had seen or heard of the first couple of days and wanted to spend more time doing, along with a couple of recommendations.


Drinking Dean & Deluca coffee in Bryant Park? It doesn't get more Felicity than that.


Bryant Park is where Ben was supposed to meet Felicity to see an outdoor movie, but he doesn't. Later, to win Felicity back, (at Dean & Deluca) he gives her a film reel of the movie they were supposed to see, calls it a time machine, and they watch it projected on the roof. It's very romantic. I cry every time he says "No, it's a time machine."


Behind Bryant Park is the New York City Public Library, where Big and Carrie don't get married. There were a lot of pop culture romantic mishaps in this area.
The library was under construction - boo.

But seriously, Bryant Park is beautiful and busy - I loved it. They have a children's play area with children's books just sitting outside on a cart, and all of the little tables - it's lovely. I think there is a city girl not too far from the surface in here, and Bryant Park made me want to pick up and move.


We found Washington Square Park!


We went into fancy stores in Greenwich and Soho - After Marc Jacobs and Vera Wang I stopped taking pictures of them, but trust me, there is no shortage of actual designer shops. I also went into some fun, more affordable vintage shops that I think were more in Greenwich than Soho.


And then we found this store - See that $4.99 Shoes Sale sign in the window? Yes Please!
J patiently waited while I shopped.


Yup, here's the Dean & Deluca Felicity's was modeled after. Again. I had to get a non-blurry photo.



Amazing street art we saw along the way.



Pastrami for lunch at Katz Deli, where they filmed "that scene" from When Harry Met Sally. See the little sign?


Cupcakes for dessert at Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery. The best cupcake I've ever eaten, hands down. Strawberry cheesecake. And I think they were $1.25.






Then we rowed boats in Central Park. This was probably my favorite thing we did the whole trip (Thanks for the suggestion Betsy!) - it was so refreshing. J and I played, challenging each other to rowing duels, and enjoyed the amazing views of the park and the city skyline.


The sun was setting as we got out of our boat and went on a mission to find that Alice statue (another thing I had read about in Babysitters Club). Along the way, J found Hans Christian Anderson.


And then we found Alice!


This was when I realized one thing I do not like about NYC - whatever you want to do, chances are there are a bunch of other people who want to do it too, so you don't really experience anything alone. For example, I would've loved a picture of J and I with Alice without a pink booty next to us.

After we checked Alice off of our list, we met Andy and he gave us a tour of Columbia, where he is about to complete grad school.

Andy showed us the old Columbia library, which is where they now award people the Pulitzer Prize. Seriously. New York is such a big deal.


And then he took us to a delicious Italian restaurant (where I waited for 5 minutes outside a locked door that turned out not to be the bathroom). It rained while we were inside eating - the restaurant is subset into the ground, you have to walk down steps from the surface level to get in, so we could see the rain hitting the pavement out the window, and it made it so cozy inside. Food was delicious and the company was better.

DAY FIVE:
It was supposed to rain on our last day, but it ended up raining the night before, and it never did rain during the day - we had planned to go to the Metropolitan Museum this day, to stay dry and to mix in some actual culture with all the Felicity pop culture.


We saw Picasso and Dali and O'Keefe and Rockwell, to name just a few. Marble statues and ancient jewelry and ancient armor and Egyptian artifacts.


We saw the fountain that Claudia and Jamie bathed in and stole money from in one of my favorite children's books, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.


That's the Thinker at the top.

We had spied this bamboo structure on the top of the Met when we were in Central Park


and we went up to the roof to see it up close.



I put my Barbizon Modeling School experience to good use


And so did J


The skyline on the roof of the Met

Then we raced through the Natural History Museum in thirty minutes - we just wanted to see the dinosaurs.

When J was a little boy, he wrote a book about dinosaurs. He made the cover out of cardboard. I've seen it.




Then we raced to Times Square to meet JM for a farewell cupcake


which we ate at Rockefeller Center. This was our lunch. I've figured out how people in NYC stay thin - you walk everywhere, and there's so much to do that you only have time to eat two meals a day.

Why were we at Rockefeller Center, you ask? Well because we had to get to the 30 Rock building for our taping of the Jimmy Fallon show! Andy's friend works for the show and was able to get us last minute tickets to the taping! I kept waiting for them to announce that Keri Russell was the guest, but as it turned out, Johnny Knoxville and Judah Friedlander were there instead.

See us in the audience? Look for my yellow sweater.


The boys got high-fives from Jimmy Fallon!




Outside the studio after the taping


After the taping, J and I scoured Times Square for a souvenir, and then went back and spent some quality time with Andy, our amazing host and dear friend. He's the greatest.

I am so thankful for how this trip just came together. I feel like the Lord planned out this opportunity for us way before we realized it and I just praise Him for making it happen for us. Our time off of work was already carved out when other plans fell through and we realized we could use the time to finally visit New York, in October, when we had always been told the weather was perfect (and it was - sunny and comfortably cool every day).

I'm so glad I went on this trip because I found out that New York is a normal place where normal people live - yes, there are famous people and there's fashion and culture and history, but actually being there, everything was just a little less glamorous than I expected, in a comforting way, a way that made it accessible to me. I wasn't totally separate from this vibrant city - in fact, (start spreading the news...) I was a part of it, for a few days.

What else is there to say? I heart NY.

Summer Splashback

Remember ISR? I told you all about ISR back when we were in our fourth week of lessons, but I never followed up and finished the story! (I mean, you saw how long it took me to write the birth story, so I guess you're probably not that surprised. Would you be more surprised if I told you the birth story is not actually over yet? Yup, there is a Part 5...and I'm sure in 6 months I will finally get around to posting it.) But more importantly, I never showed you any photos of BB in ISR. So let's have a little "splashback" to the end of summer, shall we?

Between missing lessons for traveling and teething and high temperatures, our lessons ended up stretching into mid-September, when BB finally "graduated" from ISR. Because his lessons had been so disjointed, he ended up only learning to swim and then float, rather than the entire swim-float-swim sequence, but his instructor Traci deemed him safe in the water which was the goal of the lessons, and we called it a summer.

He floats!

*Sidenote: It is not ideal for BB's hands to be up to his head while floating, but while BB was teething he developed this habit, and Traci said that habits in the water are quickly developed and hard to break.

In the last few lessons, BB was fully dressed in both summer and winter outfits and Traci did some problem-solving exercises with him to determine if he was able to perform the techniques in circumstances he might face in the event of a water emergency, like wearing a heavy winter coat or with a water-logged diaper. The exercises included disorienting BB in the water by tipping him backwards with his legs over his head, and pulling his sweater up over his face. BB was able to determine which way was up, swim to the surface, and get into his float, and could pull away items away from his face. It was amazing to watch him apply all of these skills and think back to when he was first learning to hold his breath underwater at his initial lesson - J and I were just impressed that he could even learn a skill in a lesson at such a young age. Next summer we will attend a two-week refresher course to review and reinforce these skills.

With our ISR instructor Traci, who is so great.

You can really see the swim and float sequence in these next photos:

First, BB swims (away from me)

Here you can see him flipping over into his float position when he is tired

(about 2-3 seconds underwater is appropriate for his age)

And here you can see him in his float

(which he could maintain until help arrives in a water emergency)

A great swimming shot:

And here you can really see him mid-rolling over into his float:

And floating again:

J and I were both able to attend BB's very last lesson. On Fridays each week, Traci would invite me to join them in the water so that she could teach me how I could practice the techniques with BB over the weekend or during a vacation break, and at his very last lesson we did this again. We practiced his skills, and then we finished the lesson by just letting him swim back and forth between us, since he always seemed to really like the swimming. After a few rounds, BB figured out it was playtime and by the end of his "graduation" lesson, he was coming out of the water laughing and wearing a huge smile. I'll take that over a cap and gown any day.

So that's our Summer Splashback! Wait - did I ever tell you that during one of his baths right after we started ISR BB was sitting cross-legged in the tub and then he leaned forward and stuck his whole face in the water? He kept doing it and I think he wanted to practice holding his breath - it was hilarious. Okay, ISR is over, and it's time to Fall-lashback to November...I can't believe it's NOVEMBER! Probably because it's 76 degrees outside right now. I love you Tucson.

Fall Fashion Preview

We had a few days where the temperature dropped below 80 degrees last week, and I realized that BB's wardrobe contained only two long sleeved shirts - one of which was a dress shirt from last Easter. In fact, his wardrobe became pretty sparse once we weeded out everything that no longer fit (which involved a SUPER FUN (insert sarcasm here) try-on-everything-we-weren't-sure-about-session with BB). Here are all of the Fall-friendly items (minus some footie jammies we already had and a drawer full of shorts which aren't really Fall-friendly outside of Tucson.) I had actually just bought that brown shirt on the left at Target for $5.3something.

This definitely was not going to get us through Fall, let alone Winter.

Until now, most of BB's wardrobe came from gifts and hand-me-downs and I would pick up a few things here and there, so I was excited when I realized it was time for a real BB shopping spree. J and I designated an entire day off together to shop for a Fall and Winter wardrobe for BB, and I wanted to show you what we assembled between two Targets, a Carter's Outlet, a Gymboree Outlet, a Children's Place outlet, Old Navy, and two local resale shops, Sweet Repeats and Rock'n Babies (my favorite!).

The striped pants, striped hat, and blue shoes we already had, but I forgot to picture them before - otherwise this is the fruit of many hours of retail labor (with a cheese fondue break in between!), and I thought you'd like to see an advance preview of BB's Fall Fashions.

I'm sure we will still pick up some things here and there, but I feel like we have a strong base to build from. I actually took the inital photo for reference while shopping, and it really helped me remember what we already had and still needed and what coordinated with multiple items or just didn't really work with his existing style (Yes, I did just say "existing style" about a 17-month-old and I, too, realize the ridiculousness :) ).

Here's BB modeling one of my favorite finds of the day, a brown corduroy hat with (faux) wool lined ear flaps that you can snap up. Don't mind the puppy pillow fight in progress.

The Birth Story, Part Four: the Born Ultimatum

Click here to read The Birth Story, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

I woke up to Wendy quietly entering the room. It was almost 6'clock at night, 24 hours since my water had broken, and about an hour until the nurse's change of shift. Wendy checked me and, suddenly slightly anxious, told me that I was fully dilated and ready to push. I couldn't believe that our plan actually worked - I actually got to sleep, thanks to the epidural, and my cervix continued dilating, and now I was actually going to push a baby out of my body.

And I was going to see and touch and hold my baby boy! I was amazed and excited and everything felt surreal.

Wendy said she would be right back and then we could start trying to push. Even though I wanted J to continue resting, I called his name, knowing that he couldn't miss this. Plus, what if I only had to push a few times?! He woke up and I knew he had the same surreal, hyperaware feelings that I did, and I could tell he was a little nervous. We both felt ALIVE.

I wanted to make sure we got both of our moms in the room so that they could watch BB be born. When I told Wendy that we needed to get our moms before I started pushing, she laughed, or maybe I could just tell that she wanted to, and told me that it would probably be a while. I secretly kept thinking that he might just come out in just a few pushes, so we better make sure the grandmas were available, and I think I sent J out to grab them before my "practice" pushes. I also kept reminding Wendy that I wanted a mirror positioned so that I could watch the birth until the mirror was in place. I did not want tomiss this!

Once Wendy had her supplies ready, with J by my side I tried pushing for the very first time, following some advice from a friend that "it is exactly like pushing out a bowel movement". I couldn't feel anything when I pushed, thanks to the epidural, and I couldn't sense when I was having a contraction, so I followed Wendy's instructions on when to push. After some practice pushes and my mom and J's mom were there, and I started the "real" pushing, with my mom holding my left leg, and J holding my right leg. So much for my "maybe it will just take a few pushes" idea. As I continued pushing, I was increasingly able to sense when I was having a contraction, although Wendy was still cueing me, and at some point Dr. D came and stayed too and would cue me to push.

After a while I would sometimes wait to start pushing even though I knew I was contracting before the monitors reflected it and they cued me - pushing was such hard work! I tried to really focus all of my energy only into the push, and not waste any energy tensing up my neck, shoulders, legs. Focusing on relaxing some parts of my body while pushing took every bit of my mental and physical strength, as my instincts were to just tense up my entire body. But I had read in my Bradley book that I needed to focus the energy so that it wasn't wasted. I experienced a similar state of consciousness when I was pushing to when I was laboring without the epidural - a chaotic feeling in my body and outside of it as it slaved to this work, but my mind fairly calm while focused and consumed only with the physical work, a strange paradox. I used these times to pray - no ornate words, just "Help me, God. Help me push him out. Help me do this." I couldn't think very far past the physical demands.

After an hour of pushing it was time for the nurses and doctors to change shift, and Wendy told me I could take a break, which I gratefully (indulgently) accepted. When they returned, the night nurse was Erin, my nurse from the second half of the previous night, and Dr. S, who I had never met. I remember Erin sarcastically saying to another nurse "Wendy told her..." about something I had stated to Erin - she was clearly annoyed with Wendy, and I immediately felt defensive of my quirky and nonjudgemental nurse Wendy and a stronger dislike of Erin. Praise God that for all of the bedside manner that Erin lacked, Dr. S. just emanated. She came in, several months pregnant herself, talked to me like a friend, and calmly coached me through the rest of my labor. Her coaching was friendly yet authoritative, and for me it was a magic combination and I was so encouraged.

So after the 20-25 minute break for the shift change I was back to pushing, now with my new BFF Dr. S. manning the helm (yeah, that's what we'll call that.). The next set of memories from this time are all just snippets:

At one point my mom had started setting down my left leg in between contractions, and I asked "Mom, are you getting tired?" and everyone laughed. Looking back, I understand the irony of my concern.

At some point, I spiked a temp. I remember someone saying "103 degrees". Antibiotics were administered through my IV. Worried glances were exchanged between my mom and J's mom. I observed these things but couldn't process them until later, as it was all peripheral noise to the cacophony playing full-blast in my mind and body.

I had been doing three big pushes with contractions and taking (brief) breaks between the contractions, and I started having heartburn on every third push, heartburn that worsened the harder I pushed, and it made me stop pushing too early and I knew I wasn't pushing as effectively because of it. I told Dr. S. and she deliberated a moment and then told the nurse to get me something. It came in a little cup, I smelled it, wrinkled my nose while looking at my mom who looked apprehensive, and swallowed it in one gulp. As I swallowed, my mom was already grabbing the bin, and I immediately wretched and vomited. I emptied my stomach, and I could taste the apple juice I was so happy I could have earlier as it came back up. BUT despite that not being the medication's intended effect, with my stomach emptied, the heartburn was gone and I was able to push strong through all three pushes again.

I remember feeling like my whole head was going to explode from the pressure of pushing - all of my straining felt concentrated in my face.

I have a fuzzy memory of the doctor telling me "We're only going to let you go for three hours" and acknowledging it - again, I observed this statement, but could not mentally process it's implications, didn't mentally process it until days after the birth when I realized that she meant that she was only going to let me push for three hours, and then she would take me for a C-section. Because we had been pushing for over 2 hours, and it had not once occurred to me during this process that I might not deliver vaginally.

And lo and behold, after all those hours of pushing and praying and straining and fevering and vomiting, Dr. S. finally saw BB's head, and my mom said "Oh, he has hair!" I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror and all of the sudden my energy was renewed. Oh yes, this is about a baby, MY baby, there is a REASON for all of this work, and it's that little head with wet dark hair that I can actually see.

All of the sudden the whole room changed - someone removed the foot of the bed and Erin jumped on the phone and said "I need Nursery, now." And I realized oh my gosh, it's TIME. They're getting Nursery because he's almost out! And I decided in that moment to forget all of the Bradley relaxation rules and to just push without thinking about any of that other stuff, to push like it's the push that would push him out, and that's what I told myself in private pep talks with the next pushes, "THIS IS IT - THIS IS THE PUSH!" With the first of these pushes J stumbled because my legs, which I'd tried to keep relaxed, tensed and shot out with no warning - he later said that I almost knocked him across the room! And Dr. S. said "Okay, whatever you just did, keep doing it! That's IT!" And after a few of these (and yes, everytime I told myself that THIS IS THE PUSH!), I opened my eyes just in time to see BB's head and body all come out in one big push. They quickly wiped him and handed him right to me. He let out one mewing cry and then in my arms he opened his dark grey eyes and blinked, silent, looking from side to side, my little observer, just as he still is. I was saying "Hi BB, Hi" and rubbing him, and Erin said "Did anyone tell you it's a boy?" Well, no, they didn't, but I had definitely already called him by his name and it hadn't even occured to me that it might not be!

After a minute they took BB to measure him and J and I looked at each other, smiled, and both welled up. I will never forget that moment or the amazement and joy I saw on J's face.

We had a son.

8:38 pm

7 pounds and 1 ounce

20 3/4 inches long